5 Tips to Get Your Friends to Use a Private Messenger
By Naomi Brockwell, Founder and Director of NBTV
We’ve always been able to have private conversations—just meet someone face-to-face and make sure no one’s eavesdropping. Simple, right? But today, when most of our conversations are digital, privacy becomes a bit trickier. Our texts and DMs are not just shared with the person we’re messaging but potentially with companies, data brokers, and who knows who else.
But here’s the good news: You don’t have to leave your digital conversations exposed. By switching to private messaging apps that are end-to-end encrypted, you can keep your chats secure and private. But you can only use this private message platform if the people you want to message are on there too.
Sometimes it can be hard to convince people to make the switch, so here are five tips to get them on board! I got these straight from Michael Bazzel’s book “Extreme Privacy”, which is a fantastic resource if you want to dive more into the privacy rabbit hole.
1. “It’s Easy!”
People often resist new apps because they think they’re complicated. Show them how easy your chosen private app is to set up. There are many that are just as user-friendly as the apps they’re already using. I recently got a couple of friends to install Signal over dinner— it took seconds, and they were amazed at how simple it was!
2. Educate on Privacy Risks of Other Apps
A little education goes a long way. Explain how insecure their current messaging apps are—traditional SMS can be intercepted by criminals, monitored by authorities, and is inherently non-private. Social media DMs? They’re even worse, often scanned to train AI models and sold to data brokers. Compare this with end-to-end encrypted apps where all your messages stay private, and they might start to see the light. You can also remind them that it’s not just their privacy on the line, but yours. If you value your privacy and don’t like to use non-private communication, explain this to them and they might be more willing to switch apps.
3. Strategic Response Delays
Here’s where things get sneaky. If you’ve tried strategies 1 and 2 and someone still won’t switch to a private messenger, and they continue you message you via SMS or a non-private platform, deliberately delay your response. When you finally reply, mention that you rarely check that platform and suggest they contact you on Signal instead. When they do message you on the private app, reply promptly to reinforce the positive behavior. This tactic has worked wonders for me—now most people know Signal is the quickest way to reach me.
4. The Missed Connection
This tactic is one of Michael Bazzel’s favorites, and I have to admit, it’s pretty clever. If someone consistently ignores your requests to switch apps, offer something they really want—tickets to a show, a dinner invitation, etc.—but send it through Signal. If they miss out, they’ll be more likely to check the app next time.
5. Daily Rewards
Create a fun group chat on your private messenger, sharing nostalgic photos, jokes, or daily updates. If the conversation is lively and enjoyable, people will want to keep coming back. I’ve managed to get a whole group of friends to join Signal just by sharing fun content regularly.
A Few Final Thoughts…
Convincing people to switch isn’t always easy, and some holdouts are inevitable. That’s okay. You can decide who you’re willing to communicate with on less secure platforms, but remember—your privacy is important, and it’s okay to set boundaries.
Also, be mindful of App-Switching Fatigue. Some people, especially older generations, might be reluctant to switch yet again. Make sure the private messaging app you choose is one you truly believe in for the long term.
P.S. Did you recognize any of these tactics? Yeah, I might have used them on you—but now you’ve got better privacy, and I bet that feels great!
A version of this article first appeared in video form on NBTV. NBTV is a non-profit educational platform that teaches people how to reclaim control of their lives in the digital age. They give people the tools they need to take back their privacy, money, and free online expression.
Learn more at NBTV.media