Why I Use Disappearing Messages
By Naomi Brockwell, Founder and Director of NBTV
What would you do if all your private messages were suddenly exposed to the world?
In today’s digital world, nothing is truly secure. Recent high-profile data breaches have shown us just how easily your private conversations can be leaked to the world. Hackers have released everything from Disney’s internal Slack messages to US government emails.
We know how vulnerable digital accounts are, and yet many of us still leave a permanent trail of everything we say and do. We rarely stop to consider how easily things meant to be private can become public, or the potentially devastating consequences of that exposure. So, why do we continue to leave our digital lives wide open?
In today’s newsletter, I want to make the case for disappearing messages.
Your Messages Are At Risk
There are countless ways your private conversations can be leaked, some of which you might not have considered. Data breaches and theft immediately come to mind. If your phone is stolen, thieves can access your entire history of private conversations. But on a much larger scale, hackers break into company databases and access personal communications all the time. These often get leaked online as part of ransomware attacks or sometimes just for the lolz. Former Cisco CEO John Chambers famously said:
"There are two types of companies: those who have been hacked, and those who don’t yet know they’ve been hacked."
Storing your messages indefinitely increases the chances of your conversations falling in to the wrong hands.
Then there’s a threat many people have probably never considered: the possibility of your messages ending up in public records. If you or someone you’ve communicated with becomes involved in a legal case, your entire message history could be subpoenaed and made public through court filings.
These are just a few examples of how a permanent record of your conversations is a liability. Even the people you’ve messaged are a potential weak link—if they’re ever taken to court or targeted by hackers, your conversations with them are also at risk.
The Damage of Exposure
What’s at stake when your private messages get exposed? It’s more than just a loss of privacy. Political targeting, malicious actors, public scrutiny, damaged relationships, and even leaked passwords are all real risks.
For journalists or activists, especially those working under oppressive regimes, the stakes are even higher. Permanent messages mean that authorities can sift through your past conversations to find anything they can use against you. Disappearing messages become a critical layer of protection, helping to safeguard both you and the people you communicate with.
Even if you’re lucky enough to live in a country where this isn’t an immediate concern, regimes change. Your data doesn’t. You never know what future political group might come to power and what they could find in your permanent record of messages.
The Psychological Impact
Beyond the practical risks, there’s a profound psychological shift that has occurred since we started preserving every conversation digitally. In the past, our interactions were fleeting—people could grow, change, and leave behind their old opinions. But now, every thought shared online is preserved, locking us into a "permanent self." This makes it easy for others to hold past versions of ourselves against us, even when we’ve moved on.
Worse, it tempts us to cling to our old selves, stifling growth. Knowing that our words are forever, we start self-censoring, afraid to explore new ideas for fear of judgment. The result? Increased pressure to conform and a shift toward creating safe, curated versions of ourselves, rather than being authentic.
Disappearing messages restore the natural flow of communication. They allow us to speak, think, and change freely, without worrying that every word will be preserved or weaponized later. Our conversations can serve the moment, instead of becoming liabilities for the future.
How to Set Up Disappearing Messages
Ready to take control of your digital conversations? Here’s how to enable disappearing messages on some of the most popular messaging platforms:
Signal: Go to Settings > Privacy > Disappearing Messages. Choose your desired expiration time, and this will apply to all new chats by default.
WhatsApp: Go to Settings > Privacy > Disappearing Messages. Choose your default duration: 24 hours, 7 days, or 90 days.
Facebook Messenger: Tap the person’s name, scroll down, and select "Disappearing Messages." You can elect for messages to disappear after 24 hours.
Telegram: For secret chats, tap the three dots and choose "Set self-destruct timer."
Session: Go to each specific chat. You can choose either to have the message disappear a certain period after it’s read, or after it’s been sent.
Disappearing messages are also available for emails. Privacy-focused services like ProtonMail allow you to set expiration times, ensuring your emails are deleted from both the sender’s and recipient’s inboxes after a set period.
Best Practices
So, how long should you set your messages to last? It depends on the sensitivity of your conversations. I set my Signal messages to expire after four weeks. That gives me plenty of time to review and save anything I need before it disappears. For more sensitive chats, I shorten the timer.
One important note: there are legal situations where disappearing messages aren’t allowed. If you’re involved in an investigation, once it’s begun you’re often required to preserve all evidence, including digital communications. There are also certain industries like healthcare and finance that have rules around communication retention. Make sure you understand if any of these rules apply to you.
But for most everyday conversations, disappearing messages are a powerful way to protect yourself. Keeping some messages from the past can be nice, but you can be intentional about what you keep, instead of saving it all by default.
Conclusion
In a world where everything we say is stored and potentially scrutinized indefinitely, disappearing messages give us back control. Whether you're safeguarding sensitive information, limiting your exposure, or simply reducing the clutter of your digital life, turning on disappearing messages is a small step with a big impact. It brings conversations back to feeling natural and temporary, and it’s an essential tool in your privacy toolbox for this increasingly permanent digital age.
A version of this article first appeared in video form on NBTV. NBTV is a non-profit educational platform that teaches people how to reclaim control of their lives in the digital age. They give people the tools they need to take back their privacy, money, and free online expression.
Learn more at NBTV.media